May 2013
5 posts
3 tags
The memories come in waves. No, not just the memories, but the feelings attached to them. That’s always been how it works with me. I’ll think that I’ve forgotten. I’ll think that it’s over, that I’m over it, that it’s done. But then the waves come crashing to shore, triggered by a shift in the tectonic plates beneath the ocean floor that is my psyche.
...
6 tags
Why do we fall in love? Why do we fall even though we know for a fact we’re going to crash and burn? That this person we’re about to give our already-fragile and damaged hearts to is just going to shatter it? Why do we fall knowing that the only one who’s going to pick us up off the ground, and painstakingly glue us back together again, is ourselves? Why do we fall in love? Even...
5 tags
My mind is static; thoughts senseless and erratic, nothing of worth Mere white noise pen poised over paper but there is no flow just a giant question mark representing all that I don’t know Starting with, Where do I go from here? Things seem clear but I look closer and the edges are blurred like words slurred from the mouth of a man seeking solace in a bottle that only brings more pain;...
3 tags
The Secret of Life
There is no contest between the liars and the honest that this life is a test It’s both peace and combat For anything to exist in this universe it must rely on contrast Life has always been a paradox Pandora’s Box just gave names to what was already in our hearts And life would be much easier if we knew this from the start And maybe we wouldn’t have to feel like we need to play a...
5 tags
Conversations [2]
[Different character from the one depicted here.]
“You again? Why are you here? Go away.”
“Come now, you know you can’t live without me.”
“Living with you ain’t no picnic either.”
You chuckle and come closer, wrapping your arms around me and squeezing uncomfortably tight. If it weren’t for your grip I’d be shaking. I can feel your hot...
April 2013
7 posts
6 tags
Vociferate~
I.
She stares at the mirror, meeting her own eyes. Mirrors work on the basis of the reflection of light, but even the most polished can not place so much as a glint into eyes this extinguished. She smiles bitterly, the smallest upturn of her lips, and suddenly the urge washes over her again: the need to break, shatter the mirror with her screams and her fists until it is no more than silver...
6 tags
When the words begin to scream in my head that’s when I go and pick myself up a pen trying so hard to get rid of them to write my way out of this dark depression A confession of all of my sins hidden between lines that just barely make sense wanting to find my path but this fog is so dense… I’m lost and I’m stumbling Bumbling. I guess this bee’s a fool Look into my mind, you’ll see insanity rules...
4 tags
I remember, the feel of the blade across my skin I remember the sting The rush that came from allowing this sin to swallow me whole and bleed me out to silence him, and her, and me, and the sick sad doubt If only for a moment… suspended in time savoured for all it was worth
I remember, and my arm remembers and I can feel the itch (a phantom memory) and my fingers twitch (hallucinating the...
4 tags
Nightly Rituals
ajarofwords:
The lights go out, the curtains are closed the streets are empty bed time stories have been told had cocoa before bed sent a goodnight text slipping under the blanket and forgetting the rest
Meanwhile you stare at the ceiling with thoughts twirling in your head of all the things you’ve done that day and all the things you’ve said you smile at all the good moments cringe at all the...
6 tags
Conversations
“I’m sorry.”
“You apologize way too fucking much, you know that?”
I don’t respond. I do know, and you know that I know. You’re simply gearing up to take this conversation somewhere else, and I have a sneaking suspicion I know where.
“What are you constantly sorry for, anyway?”
I shrug, then cringe inwardly at what an insolent air that...
Of Life and Lemons
thisemptyframe:
I have finally accepted that I have more wounds than I do scars Not gaping, nor bleeding, simply incompletely healed and mostly forgotten about
Until there’s a trigger.
All it takes is the smallest drop of life’s famous lemons… It courses through me and, stinging bitterly all the way reminds me where my cuts are (even those I thought had closed up long ago)
I have finally...
5 tags
Of Life and Lemons
I have finally accepted that I have more wounds than I do scars Not gaping, nor bleeding, simply incompletely healed and mostly forgotten about
Until there’s a trigger.
All it takes is the smallest drop of life’s famous lemons… It courses through me and, stinging bitterly all the way reminds me where my cuts are (even those I thought had closed up long ago)
I have finally...
March 2013
6 posts
5 tags
Today,
I went outside by myself, for myself, for the first time in weeks. I felt the crunch of alternating terrain through my shoes, allowed the wind to embrace me in cheery greeting, saw the sun smile. I walked. I ran. I leaped small bounds.The sweat that slid down my skin was cooled by the breeze, and not the clinical blast of air conditioning, for once.
I am not saying everything. I am not saying...
4 tags
They say, It takes forty days to form a habit, but I have never been the type to plant my feet and let myself grow through repetition I need to be moving, running, leaping up to reach for the clouds and riding them onward not necessarily towards the new simply, the different
So to me, forty days is thirty nine too long to be working towards just one thing My mind stagnates, and I end up doing...
4 tags
Huh.
Melodramatic writing ftw.
This shall continue until I’ve de-rusted my writing while simultaneously working through my shit
On a brighter note, a while ago I got a feature that got me more notes than I’ve ever had on anything ever in all my tumblr-time, and brought in more followers. So thank you, Unknown Editor, for that, and a big warm welcome to you followers.
5 tags
It just hurts so much, me ending up poisoning everything that I touch.
4 tags
Hello, friend. How is the storm within? Does the rain still fall and run down your cheeks? Does thunder still rumble through your chest, down your spine, lightning flashing inside your head?
Tell me, friend, does happiness still make you sad? Do your friends still make you lonely? Is Love still breaking your heart?
Goodbye, friend. Take care. I will check again tomorrow.
2 tags
alfaazkibarsaat:
If I could write the beauty she is without falling in love all over again, I’d tell you all about her.
February 2013
3 posts
5 tags
She stared at his frightened face coldly, her gun aimed right at his head. Her boot was digging into his throat as he lay on his back, hard enough to keep him down and uncomfortable yet soft enough to not crush his windpipe.
“Please,” he whispered, voice shaking. “I have a family.”
“Yeah? Well so did we.”
She pulled the trigger.
4 tags
Shatter
It happens again. Building up slowly at first, drop by drop, and then rushing forward with all the force and destructive energy of a tsunami, stinging like acid. Your veins exposed on skin as your blood flow quickens, heartbeat racing to be the first to die. There is nothing in your head except images deliciously satisfying, of all the violent, painful ways you wish you could express all the...
4 tags
Upon letting someone be miserable with you
This is what you need to know about allowing someone to be miserable with you: It’s a lonely job. Chances are they have no one else they can truly let themselves be sad around, no one they’re comfortable enough with, and so it’s easy to pretend or even somewhat feel different around other people. You will see this, and a part of you will resent it, because here you are trying so...
January 2013
2 posts
2 tags
It’s so hard and so painful, to love in a world that doesn’t believe in it anymore.
4 tags
Heaven's a Lie
There is no heaven. Only a hell. Inside each of us it dwells Churns and burns and smolders and glares Chars us to the bone with white-hot flares Rages Can’t cage it Can’t put it out Only wait for the kiss from Death’s eager mouth
There is no heaven. Only a hell. Inside each of us it dwells We are our own demons our own Satan our own sin Our blood, molten lava that bubbles...
December 2012
1 post
5 tags
Of Sands & Rain
The demons slithered and hissed in serpentine motion along the roads, dodging the vehicles mortals called “cars” with ease, despite their speed. They did not bother to speak to each other. In fact, their only interactions were when one got in the way of another, and a vicious fight would ensue. Tempting as it was for the rest to stop and watch, they could not, else they would be late....
November 2012
1 post
4 tags
This place is death. This place is suffocation. This place is where you walk on eggshells dodging the hair-trigger that makes loudmouths scream, “INSUBORDINATION” It’s where the gravedigger comes to sleep for he is no longer comfortable except among tombs It is the hush of funerals, the stench of stagnation, the crack of decaying bones This place is home.
This place is...
September 2012
3 posts
6 tags
Raven - Part 3
“…the elusive ‘Woman-Snatcher’ as finally been apprehended, after police received an anonymous tip stating he was ‘tied up’ at a local gas station. The story gets stranger. When the police acted on the tip they found him quite literally tied to a gas-pump, gagged, bruised and bleeding.
“The man been identified as Carl Warner, who had initially been a...
P.S.A.
Due to factors such as a lack of (and occasionally overload of, which was weird) inspiration, then the busy times of Orientation week, my first week of University, and playing host to guests, Raven was put on a back-burner for a while. Not sure if anyone actually cares, but just in case, I apologise, and Part 3 will be up in just a few minutes.
6 tags
Every Breath is Hope
Lightning’s flashing and thunder’s crashing and raindrops are lashing against window panes Paths slick with wet like the tracks of regret formed by the tears running down your face
Clouds the colour of your bruises Wind howling like the music of your pained screams Skin tearing at the seams as you try to pick up the shards of your shattered dreams And you make up excuses...
August 2012
6 posts
6 tags
Artistic Veins
There is art in her soul heart filtering and pumping it through her body whole It drips from her fingertips, onto endless scrolls be it in words or images, how beautifully it flows~
There is sweetness in her smile innocence that reminds you of a simpler time Her hands reach out in friendship, bid you to stay a while Comfort and love shining in the kindness that is her eyes~
You can’t help...
7 tags
Raven: Part 2
Olivia regained consciousness to find herself somewhere terribly familiar. It took her a few moments to realise she was at her own apartment, in her own bed, still in her work clothes from… yesterday? Earlier today? She glanced at her watch; it was a little past four thirty in the morning.
Was it all some exhaustion-induced nightmare? she wondered, running her fingers through her black...
7 tags
Raven: Part 1
“Shit.” Olivia wasn’t one to curse often, but on this particular occasion it felt appropriate. After midnight, halfway home after an excruciatingly long day, she’d just remembered there was nothing to eat at her apartment.
She contemplated sucking it up for one night. Her stomach growled in protest. With a sigh, Olivia realised she wouldn’t be able to sleep without...
8 tags
Dear Possible Future Lover,
Should you be considering investing your heart in me, there are some things I would have you know, before leaving you to decide of your own volition whether to withdraw or advance. This is to avoid hurting you, for if you know me enough to actually consider falling for me then chances are I already care deeply about you, and would hate to cause you pain.
I have not had many before you, but to...
6 tags
The Drill
You almost don’t hear the knock, it’s so soft. As soon as you do however, you know who it is: her. She’s the only one who ever knocks - thinks the doorbell is too loud and obnoxious - even if it means earning bruised knuckles during the times you’ve been asleep and she’s had to wake you. No need for that tonight, though. The sun has barely set.
You move to answer,...
1 tag
It isn't meant for a recording...
This piece that I feel like I’ve lost the rhythm for, one I can’t get back because for some reason my emotion doesn’t inflect in my voice anymore.. Not as much as it should.. It isn’t meant for a recording.
It needs.. the hand gestures.. the facial expressions.. It needs to be done live. But as I will never record a video of me doing this, nor will I ever allow most...
July 2012
6 posts
7 tags
Going... Going... Gone.
It feels like I am dying. There seems to be some sickness inside of me that makes me shiver in a warm room, back bent with sorrows the sources of which are mostly forgotten. My heart physically aches to the point I’m convinced there is an attack coming soon. I am almost disappointed when it doesn’t happen. The tendons running through my shattered knuckle throb near-constantly in honour...
6 tags
Pain, My Love...
You are Pain. To think of you brings pulses of aching regret that beat against my rib cage, then liquefy and flow through my being. To see you go about your life, as I sit here chained to a wall with “Grief” carved into each of its bricks, triggers paper cut stings that slice away beneath my skin right up to the lids of my eyes. To miss you sparks burns that char me from within, heart...
6 tags
[Tomorrow's Spoken Word]
I, am a person of words Just another feeble voice that begs to be heard My fascination beginning when I was a little girl Couldn’t read yet Simply sat studying markings with no meaning inferred in my illiterate head But the meaning was there. I knew it was. Eventually, I taught myself to find it. And I fell in love. I fell in love with something I could manipulate. Something I could control,...
4 tags
I wish I could do… more. Be… more. See more, live more, love more, explore more..
It consumes me, sometimes this desire, this lust, this desperate yearning It howls through my soul pounds along with my heartbeat sends glorious fantasies running through my mind…
Then reality strikes. A reminder of how “more” is still a long way away That between then and now, there...
Here ya go~ →
I’ve had another spoken word-suitable poem in my head for a while now. I’ll be working on it the next couple of days.
In the meantime, y’all can back read if you’d like.
6 tags
Imminent Implosion
I feel cold all the time, all the time. Chills running down my spine, down my spine. Goosebumps rising on my skin, on my skin. The sheets wrapped around me far too thin, far too thin.
I’m always rocking back and forth, back and forth. Eyes are dark and void of mirth, void of mirth. My body feels like it’s sick, like it’s sick. There’s a bomb inside me and it goes tick, and...
June 2012
12 posts
9 tags
You Never Have
Do not pretend to know me. You don’t. Do not pretend you care to know me. You don’t. You only care that I fit into your idea of me So you try to trick me into revealing myself to you so the things that don’t fit… you can so “kindly” attempt to change One way or another. One manipulative trick after the next. You think I don’t see it? You think me that...
7 tags
An Open Letter to the World
You frustrate me. Not always intentionally, but still. You do it often, and sometimes it takes several deep breaths to calm the rising frustration that soon turns to anger. It gets difficult to keep the irritation out of my voice, because I know you’d take offense to it. This is despite the fact you somewhat enjoy my looks of exasperation. They amuse you. Yet if I were to show the full...
5 tags
Just Another Flash in The Pan?
I stand on the edge of the cliff, which hangs over an abyss of Addiction. I peer into the darkness below, wondering what would await me if I jumped, and how far down I’d go if I did. Wondering whether I’d be able to climb back up if I didn’t like it down there. Questioning whether the risk was worth taking.
It’s like an itch you know you’re not supposed to scratch,...
5 tags
Spoken Word: Slave to The Masses
Ignore the minor...
2 tags
The Ayes Have It
Those who responded all responded with a Yes (in some form or another), so spoken word will be up later. Which will probably be tomorrow for most of you. So, tomorrow.
It’s not a poem I’ve shown anyone before. In fact I was writing it the very night I made the post asking whether or not I should do a spoken word. It was one of those poems that just burst out of me without control,...
8 tags
Behind Resilience, Lies Hope
I am hollowed out, now by the veins of your words Empty I barely breathe My strength has been torn away from me to boost up your building ego There is nothing left, except (the memories of your words) the beating of my heart, all that’s left of me, that aches like a bruise (sending kisses of pain with every beat) squeezed far too tight (within the cracks of my bones) with every pulse (crying to...
Since my writing blog is currently showing...
hopelessdreamer:
(Thanks, tumblr. Really. You’re doing great).
I’ll ask here, since I need a general vote before I risk extreme embarrassment: Anyone interested in hearing the weird, philosophical chick do a spoken word on one of her poems? I might even reblog it here for those who do not wish to go trailing into the dark land that is my writing lair of doom.
Yes? No? “Shut up”?
Because...
7 tags
Better Off Dead
Swallow pain like a pill that dissolves in your heart Try to keep your face stony as it rips you apart Feel it rush through your bloodstream and burn through your veins swimming in your mind to drive you insane
Drink up guilt like the alcohol used to drown your sorrows until you hate yourself so much you don’t want to wake up tomorrow Let it burst through your liver and punish you so well...
8 tags
Alive
Lay on grass still moist from the dew of the morn’ Stare up at never-ending sky from which blue eyes are born Feel, as the earth pulses beneath you while the trees above gently sway Listen as the wind softly whispers the words, “I am alive this day.”
Sing in tune with the birds Watch as they frolic away Laugh and follow as they flit about, like sprites asking you to join their...
Now accepting collabs! →
Doesn’t that sound so exciting?
No? Oh well.
One and all welcome.
