-
My mind is static;
thoughts senseless and erratic, nothing of worth
Mere white noise
pen poised over paper but there is no flow
just a giant question mark representing all that I don’t know
Starting with, Where do I go from here?
Things seem clear
but I look closer and the edges are blurred
like words slurred from the mouth of a man
seeking solace in a bottle that only brings more pain;
he’s just too drunk to see it
Am I the drunk or the bottle?
I’m not sure yet
just another question
with an answer I may never getI know I know nothing but I’m neither wise nor in bliss
Was there ever a time when life was easier than this?
Trying to hold on to reality but I’m losing my grip
seems the harder I grab hold the faster I slip
this altitude still high enough to make me feel sick
My hands raw and bloody from hanging off of this cliff
Muscles all shaking, bones frozen stiff
lips already half-parted to welcome Death’s Kiss -
The Secret of Life
There is no contest
between the liars and the honest
that this life is a test
It’s both peace and combat
For anything to exist in this universe
it must rely on contrast
Life has always been a paradox
Pandora’s Box just gave names
to what was already in our hearts
And life would be much easier
if we knew this from the start
And maybe we wouldn’t have to feel
like we need to play a part…Because tell me, how am I supposed to feel,
in a world so illusion-filled it’s like nothing’s real?
Where everyone wears masks
and all the mirrors are cracked
and people think they can tell you
how you’re “supposed” to act
Where as soon as you turn around
someone’s stabbing your back
and then you get judged for how you react
‘Most everyone’s a liar, to survive or to peddle
their own agendas; always trying to meddle
You think you’re better than them
I think I’m better than you
Fact is we’re all full of shit
And that’s the only real truth. -
When the words begin to scream in my head
that’s when I go and pick myself up a pen
trying so hard to get rid of them
to write my way out of this dark depression
A confession
of all of my sins
hidden between lines that just barely make sense
wanting to find my path but this fog is so dense…
I’m lost and I’m stumbling
Bumbling.
I guess this bee’s a fool
Look into my mind,
you’ll see insanity rules
the shattered and scattered
remains of my strength
shining like jewels
in a skull-shaped pattern.
Battered.
That’s the state of my heart
hanging by a vein trying not to fall apart
I need some air, because my breath’s caught
Stuck between an ending and a far-away start. -
I remember,
the feel of the blade across my skin
I remember the sting
The rush that came from allowing this sin
to swallow me whole and bleed me out
to silence him, and her, and me, and the sick sad doubt
If only for a moment…
suspended in time
savoured for all it was worthI remember, and my arm remembers
and I can feel the itch
(a phantom memory)
and my fingers twitch
(hallucinating the feel of metal in between)
and I’m starting to miss
(how it feels to make myself bleed) -
Nightly Rituals
The lights go out,
the curtains are closed
the streets are empty
bed time stories have been told
had cocoa before bed
sent a goodnight text
slipping under the blanket
and forgetting the restMeanwhile
you stare at the ceiling
with thoughts twirling in your head
of all the things you’ve done that day
and all the things you’ve said
you smile at all the good moments
cringe at all the bad
wondering about tomorrow
and what adventures can be hadWishing
as you fall asleep
for something you think I do not see
That all of those adventures,
you can get to have with me.*******************************************************************************************
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